Pretty in Pink for Cora

I don't know Kristine and only learned of her and her sweet Angel Cora through Twitter (@kristinebrite) yesterday. Cora was born November 29th and passed away of an undetected heart defect December 6th, nursing in her mother's arms. To read more of her story, go here.

No mother should ever have to lose her child, especially before their lives have barely begun. My heart breaks for Kristine and others out there who have lost their children, born and unborn (my own mother included). Kristine does not want Cora's death to be in vain and Cora will have taught us all something.

I can't tell you how often I get overwhelmed with having 3 children under 3, specifically the twins. I have 3 children that NEED their mother all the time. Who have to be fed and changed and loved. The twins are getting to the point where they only want Mommy at certain times and Adia's been there almost all her life. She is Mommy's girl to the core. I have days when I want to run and hide or sit in the corner, hands over my ears and pretend those 3 little lives didn't depend on me, but in truth, I'm insanely lucky.

Adia's pregnancy started out easy, but there were soon worries about her size, her level of fluid and eventually the preterm labor scare. I had 9 weeks of modified bed rest and medication to prevent labor. I had multiple ultrasounds and non-stress tests and an induction at 38 weeks. The doctors feared something was horribly wrong with her. She did have some problems breathing at birth, followed by severe jaundice and being readmitted to the hospital at 4 days old. I was a terrified first time mom, but Adia is now a healthy, happy, thriving 2 year old. All our fears were for naught.

And the twins. My fear started the moment that pregnancy didn't feel like Adia's. I wasn't sick and instead felt crampy all the time. I thought for sure I was miscarrying, but that early ultrasound showed 2 little sacs. It was too early for heartbeats, but the possibility of twins was staring me in the face and my pregnancy went from normal to high risk. Somehow, medically, the twin pregnancy was easier. It took a toll on my body, but both babies were perfect, growing faster than Adia had, producing more fluid, showing no signs of preterm labor. I feared the NICU. I feared an early birth. I feared sick little girls. I spent 2 weeks on hospital bed rest, another 2.5 at home before the twins were born at 36w5d, perfectly healthy. They had minor issues in the beginning, but not because of being early or small.

I haven't had to deal with sickness or birth defects or loss. Somehow I've even avoided miscarriage. I've had 2 pregnancies and 3 healthy children. And Cora has taught me to appreciate them more each day, to love them like any day could be our last and to be more patient with them. I will have good days and bad days, but what's important is we will have days, days together.

So today, the girls wore Pink for Cora.





And everyday, I will hug them more and kiss them more and make sure they always know I love them.